Title: Abomination
Author: Kait
Rating: G
Summary: Young Remus deals with what he is.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, pre-slash
Notes: This is a happy fic, I swear.


Abomination

"He's an abomination!"

"He's your grandson!"

Remus winced, inching backwards into his quilt, despite the fact that the screaming was taking place in another room all together.

His mother and grandmother had been going at it for nearly half an hour now. His father and grandfather had gone out for a hesitant drink, leaving his poor Mum with her mother-in-law, who felt the responsibility to remind her, constantly, of her weak little failure of a son.

"You should have given him up years ago! Had him put down! He's a monster, Evelyn! Lupin is a distinguished name in French wizarding circles! I am ashamed to admit that he shares it!"

Remus bit his lip to keep the small whimper inside his mouth. He couldn't break down now, no, he couldn't break through controls that he had spent over half of his short life putting into place. But it hurt... it hurt so much... he could still remember when grandmother loved him, when Romulus was still alive, when he was still... human...

He shuddered at the word, much as she shuddered at the memory of his grandmother bouncing him on her knee and handing him and his twin still-warm cookies from the kitchen... those memories weren't a part of him anymore. That life was gone, that human life... it wasn't something that belonged to him anymore.

He reached blindly for Pierre, his comfort object since birth, a frayed black stuffed dog that once had a brown twin when his room had another bed and his mother had another son. He hugged the doll to his chest, biting his lip as his grandmother's scathing words swept over him. Dark creature, beast, animal, monster, abomination... each word dug into him. As he squeezed his eyes shut he could imagine them coming alive - vile little creatures with wings that flittered around him and attacked him with their sharp claws and teeth, each taking a little bit of him away, each draining away whatever humanity was left in him.

He screwed up his face and tried to block out the sounds. They kept coming. In desperation, he threw his quilt and Pierre to the side, covering his ears blindly with his hands. His elbow painfully hit the nightstand, knocking a book to the floor. He opened his eyes just in time to see a fragment of parchment float out of it to the ground.

And the world seemed brighter, all of a sudden. Because he immediately recognized the handwriting, remembered what it was.

Dear Moony,

Do you like the nickname? I came up with it myself. James said it sounds idiotic, but that's just because he's an idiot. Didn't even want me to write this, at first. But I reminded him that you're our best mate and I had to.

I wish you hadn't run out this morning. James told me that the reason you did was probably because I sounded like a stupid git the way I told you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you away, I just wanted you to know that we knew.

We're not scared of you. We want to help you, really. I mean, honestly, how are you any different than you were last week? We still like you. We wouldn't have stopped liking you because of something as stupid as this. I mean, it wasn't even your fault. (At least, I don't think it could be. Unless you were going after the werewolf or something, but that would be bloody moronic, and you're pretty smart.)

Anyways, we haven't told Peter yet. We figured he could figure it out himself or you could tell him. It's up to you. James and I will forget that we ever figured it out, if you want us to, but I just couldn't do that without telling you that it's okay with us first. With me, at least. You're still one of my best mates, even if you DO turn into something else once a month. I mean, it's only once a month. The rest of the time you're human and all.

So, I'm going to fold this up and leave it on your bed and go back to searching the castle for you. You're damn good at hiding there, Moony. (If you don't like the name, I can change it or think of a better one. I like it, though. I think it suits you.) Hopefully I'll find you so I can give you a good smack for running away from us like that, you daft little bugger.

Your friend still, I SWEAR,
Sirius Black

He had read it over and over again the night that he found it, just as he read it over and over again while his grandmother and mother argued in the living room. It put his mind at ease, to know that there was at least one other person in the world that considered him human.

So Remus Lupin fell asleep with the Lupin family matriarchs screaming the in parlor, a stuffed dog clutched under one arm, and a rambling letter from an eleven year old boy clamped firmly in his other hand. And, despite the fact that his grandmother was waking the boggarts and ghoul in the attic with her screams of 'dark creature!' and 'dangerous beast!', he felt more human than he had in a very long time.

-end-