Title: Untitled
Author: Kait Sudol
Disclaimer: Mark and Roger belong to the estate of Jonathan Larson, I'm not making money, blah blah blah. The first conversation was written by Kevin Smith. Bow down to him.
Summary: A response to the Laundromat challenge I posed on RentFic101. Mark gets locked in a laundromat. Hilarity ensues.
Rating: PG-13


"You know, I don't think anyone can see us down here..." Mark was standing on a chair, staring out the lone window in the darkened laundromat.

"What, do ya wanna have sex or something?" Roger asked as he angrily bounced a moldy rubber ball against the wall. First Mark had withheld sex until he did laundry and now the two of them had been stuck in the goddamned Laundromat for almost an hour. He was hungry, horny, and even more frustrated because Mark had stopped listening to his whining about twenty minutes ago. Come to think of it, it was right around the time that he asserted that this obviously meant that he shouldn't wash his clothes at all.

"Can we?" Mark asked, pulling himself further onto his toes in an attempt to see even further. Roger jumped up and quickly closed the gap between them.

"Really?" He nearly bounced with excitement. Mark shot him a look over his glasses.

"I was joking." Roger sighed and slouched back into a chair.

"I'm telling you, Mark, this is an omen! This is a sign that I should never wash my clothes again." Mark jumped down from the stool that he was standing on and glared some more.

"And I'm telling you, Roger, if you never wash your clothes again then you'll never screw me again either." Roger pouted and picked at a curling label giving a harsh warning about mixing colours and whites.

"I'm hungry."

"So I heard. Several times. Why don't you have some bleach tablets? I'm sure they taste good."

"That's not funny." Mark didn't reply, so Roger began to bounce the ball once again. "You know, if we die down here, I'll die unfulfilled."

"Do you think about anything but sex?" Mark exclaimed as he got up and started to kick the locked door. The only reply was the bouncing of the ball. They really had to get out of there. He was afraid that if they didn't reach freedom soon he'd have to break something. Most likely it would be Roger's skull. He gazed at the window, frowning slightly as he mentally compared the height of the window to his diminutive waist line. He stood on the stool again and scowled. He was too short to properly punch out the window.
"Roge, climb up here and help me push out this window." The ball stopped bouncing and Mark heard Roger's heavy footsteps approaching him, then felt the added weight pressed against him as Roger stood behind him and put his weight onto the window. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three!" They both slammed their weight against it and it slowly began to whine open. With a last burst of energy they shoved it open as far as it would go. Mark grinned.
"Now give me a boost and I think I can make it through." Roger grabbed Mark's legs and raised him level to the window. The filmmaker grinned as he began to wiggle out.

Meanwhile, it was taking all of Roger's concentration to push Mark up and not fondle him, put his hand down his pants, or otherwise molest him. Finally Mark's legs disappeared and there was a thunk on the otherside of the door, followed by a string of curses and mumbles. After a faint rustle, the door creaked open.

"Get your stuff and let's get home." Roger obliged, rushing over to retrieve the laundry basket filled with freshly folded band t-shirts and a lemon-fresh scent.

"Oh, and to answer your other question, I think so." Mark blinked a little, cocking his head and he tried to figure out what Roger was talking about. He finally just asked.

"What are you talking about?" Roger shrugged.

"You asked me if all I thought about was sex." Mark stared, wide-eyed.

"That was like... ten minutes ago!"

"Well I had to think about it!" With a sharp glare Mark turned on his heel and slammed the door. Roger laughed. "Okay. Funny, Mark. Now open the door."

Silence.

"Mark.... open up!"

Silence.

"Mark... MARK! This isn't funny!...Mark?! C'mon!.... I promise I'll wash my clothes more often.... MARK!!"

-end-

* Note: If you watch Clerks four times in two days with your new DVD player, some references are bound to pop up in writing ^^;;

So, the wrong person ends up being locked in. But I'm amused, so it doesn't matter ^_^

Comments to kait@frowl.org.