This should not be taken seriously at all. It's sort of a joke. In fact, it is a joke. I repeat, this is MEANT TO BE FUNNY! A little self-parody on my part ^_^;


Title: A Reason to Celebrate Independence Day
Author: Kait Sudol
Disclaimer: Not mine. Belong to the estate of Jonathan Larson. If they were mine they would have skipped the fireworks and went right to the blueberries.
Summary: A very promising afternoon is invaded by Ira's patriotism.
Rating: R. Lots of sex talk ^_^;

A Reason to Celebrate Independence Day

"Do you think I should dye my hair?" Mark looked up from his book and shot Roger a quizzical look.

"Uhhh... what?"

"My hair. Lyric says I should dye it blue or black. What do you think?" Mark squinted at Roger and tried to imagine him with blue hair. The jolt that ran through his body was almost electrifying. He jumped up and grinned.

"When can we start?"

In no time at all the boys had dressed and made their way down to the street in an attempt to find a store that sold blue hair dye. After reaching the third 'Closed' sign, they started to get a little discouraged.

"Why the fuck are all the stores closed?" Roger asked, tapping on the glass. Mark impatiently shifted from foot to foot.

"Let's try one more. And if it's closed we can just use blueberries or something..." he muttered.

"Kinky."

"You know what I--" But Mark didn't even have time to complete his sentence before he found himself crushed up against the window with Roger's tongue down his throat. Not that it was an entirely uncomfortable position, mind you.

"My God. I'd say you two were attached at the hip, but it's more like the tonsils." The boys blearily broke apart and blinked. Ira Spencer was giving them a bemused look from the sidewalk.

"Or the groin," her boyfriend, Paul, interjected. They blinked again.

"Uh..." Mark said.

"Umm..." Roger said. Ira rolled her eyes.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked. They slowly untangled their arms and legs and smoothed out their hair.

"Well, we were making out. But before that we were looking for a place that sold blue hair dye. And was open," Mark replied.

"Everywhere we've been has been closed," Roger added. "Isn't that fucked up?" Ira's withering look and Paul's derisive snort made it very clear that the two of them thought Mark and Roger to be very stupid.

"It's not fucked up, it's the Fourth of July," Ira said.

"Nah, that's Thursday. Today's only Wednesday," Roger said dismissively.

"No, honey, today is Thursday."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!" Ira finally sighed, exasperated.

"Roger, that would be because you haven't been out of the house since Sunday. I did not think it was possible for two people to have as much sex as you do." Silence. A rather smug grin passed between Mark and Roger before they gave Ira identical pouts. "C'mon, why don't you come with us to my parents' party and then watch the fireworks?"

"We've got more important things to do," Roger said, taking Mark's hand and starting to drag him towards the corner market.

"More important than being patriotic?"

"It involves blueberries."

"GUYS!" Both men stopped in their tracks and slowly turned around. Ira was positively livid. "How could you think anything is more important than being patriotic? Tons of men and women, barely of age get killed trying to protect this country! It happens every day! You would think that especially with what happened last year you'd be more proud of your country!"

"Ira, I have given blood every six weeks since September. Roger has played charity concerts. You've been there. We're all about helping the country. I just don't see how fireworks are going to change anything," Mark said, rolling his eyes. He had seen Pamphlet!Ira earlier this week, ranting to him about what it meant to be gay. As if his little hetero sidekick had any experience other than dating a bisexual seventeen year old who was messed up in the head to begin with.

"Mark, it's the idea! It's the spirit of America! This country was founded on the idea that our basic rights - including the ones to set off fireworks and send our friends and family to the hospital with third degree burns - could not be denied! Our founding fathers fought a war to protect this country, Mark! They fought a war to make it a country in the first place. And it was bloody and hard and long, but they stuck with it. And now you're going to forsake all of that to go for a quick shag--"

"--with blueberries!" Roger added enthusiastically.

"--with blueberries? That's ludicrous, Mark! It's a blatant disregard for the history of this free nation! This holiday is all about freedom!"

"Including the freedom of choice, which I'm using to choose to go home for some nice sex," he insisted. Ira nearly growled at him. Mark immediately closed his mouth.

"Over 200 years ago a group of men decided that they didn't want to be ruled over by a tyrant anymore. They wrote a document explaining why, explaining what they wanted and deserved and how they were being treated, how they should be treated. No one had ever done that before. But on this date in 1776 that paper was signed and sent off to the king!"

"Actually," Paul said, speaking up for the first time since Ira had started her rant. "It was signed and written and all that stuff before the fourth, but--"

"Shut up, Paul."

"Okay." She opened her mouth to start to lecture again when Mark held up his hand.

"We'll come. Just please be quiet," he said with a sigh. Ira grinned a little and took Paul's hand.

"Come on. Let's catch the train so we can get to my place in time to see my cousins try and burn each other's hands off with sparklers." Mark snorted and moved to follow, but stopped as he noticed Roger was still standing on the corner, pouting.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, suddenly concerned. His concern left, however, when he saw Roger motioning feebly towards the corner store.

"Blueberries..." he whimpered. Mark grabbed his hand and lightly tugged him towards the train.

"I'll make it up to you later, Rog, I promise. And maybe we'll have to add some whipped cream and strawberries. It is Independence Day, after all." Roger's eyes widened. "Iiif you're good, that is." The mischievous look in Mark's eyes was all Roger needed to grab the smaller man around the waist and fling Mark over his shoulder.

"IRA! WAIT FOR US!" he shouted, running at breakneck speed, Mark's laughter trailing after them.

.end.

And again, the lovely Sophia has illustrated this! Her picture can be found here.

And comments to kait@frowl.org.