It occurs to me that if I want to be happier with the way I write, I should do more of it. I used to not only blog daily, but I wrote random crazy crap in a journal thing (especially during the summers, for some reason). I was terribly used to actually talking about things that occurred not only on a boring daily basis, but a little more about the way I FEEEEL about things, and none of this sensoring "people are jerks and I'm sensitive about the way they feel" crap. And interestingly enough, the more comfortable I am talking about my feelings, the more spontaneous ridiculousness also happens to be captured. And it's the spontaneous ridiculousness in life that I exist for and want to capture for others to appreciate.
SO GET WRITIN' WOMAN.
As an interesting aside, I am something of a Chameleon when it comes to my own writing being influenced by the writing over others. This is most clear when I read excessive amounts of Dooce.com and tend to USE ALL CAPS AND LOTS OF SWEAR-WORDS. I think this means I need to actually read more, in general.
Man. Part of me totally hates reading blog archives from 2+ years ago. And that's namely because DAMN, was I potentially hilarious. Seriously. I don't know what happened. But I'm becoming more and more convinced that the older I get, the dumber and more neurotic I become, and somehow less CREATIVE with WOOOORDS.
Then again, in reading blog archives from a while ago, every year or so I run into a little something like "man, I was just reading blog archives and DAMN you guys, I was hilarious! What happened??" So it could just be a dumb perception thing
Yes, I just wrote a blog entry about how my blog entries aren't as awesome as they used to be.
Here is something my Dad said to me about four years ago. I found it (much like the below-mentioned spoon-liver-digging reminder) in the unpublished archives:
"Don't be a worrier. My mother was such a worrier, and it ended up killing her. ... Even though she lived to be 95..."
Also, through a situation in which the universe is hilarious, I ended up actively and physically involving myself in Eurhythmics for THREE HOURS today. And as a result?
1. I almost rejoined Facebook for the sole purpose of asking if anyone out there has fingerings for the Ligeti solo sonata.
2. My time on the internet seems to be divided into three main parts, which consist of one: Watching Shiba Inu puppies. Two: Talking to my 'fella. Three: Youtube surfing. This list needs more blogging.
1. It is possible for a person to see the movie Brazil for the first time and NOT have the most intensely fucked up dreams ever.
2. It is possible for a person to see the movie Brazil and NOT fight back a sudden urge to watch Monty Python's Flying Circus in its entirety (especially when it happens to be available for instant viewing on Netflix -- gaaaah).
So yes, that's what's going on. Have I mentioned any time recently that I can't wait to not be in school, at least for a while?
As An Agnostic, I'm Going To Bring My Winning Smile!
I hate to say this, but.....
I'm pretty sure Community is beginning to replace The Office a favorite television program of mine.
Life is hard! I love The Office. Or did, anyway. Because show is truly not what it once was. And it's not always easy to pinpoint exactly why. For me -- and I kind of knew this might happen and had extensive discussions with a few people on how it might -- the show could have quite easily and most satisfyingly ended at the end of Season 3 for me. And yes, it coincided with Jim and Pam getting together, but honestly, the Jim and Pam thing was a substantial part of the obsessive-watching factor for me. Season 4 started off well, but I felt like it didn't have the same flow or story arc craft that the previous two seasons possessed, and that had little to do with the Jim/Pam storyline. Call me crazy, but I think it might have had something to do with character development. I feel like one of the things that The Office has done a lot of between Seasons 2 and now are EXTREEEME character development. Tim and I were talking about this, and might have said the characters have become very much like caricatures, and I couldn't agree more! If you look back to Season 2, you see an office full of somewhat diverse but for the most part "normal" people, who have a completely ridiculous boss. However, now I see an office full of extremely ridiculous characters, and I'm finding myself suffering from ridiculousness overload (AND __I__ JUST SAID THAT). For instance, we went from seeing Angela as the "tight-ass Christian chick" (Roy's words, not mine!!) of the Office to seeing Angela as the KIND OF SEXUALLY MASOCHISTIC tight-ass Christian chick who likes multiple men fighting over her and sleeps with and toys with both these men and cleans her cats with her own tongue and can get on board the Idris Elba train and jeeze, those are some drastic changes from what we knew of her in the beginning! Another good example is Kelly. Remember Kelly from the beginning of Seasons 1 and 2 of the Office? And Kelly now? Those two Kellys are not the same character! Same goes for Ryan. Most of the characters seem to be developed in this manner, from just "some office people" into "some craaazy, ridiculous, kooky office people!" I think the characters are all pretty hilarious on their own (especially certain characters -- like Andy), but development of a large cast of characters can only go so far and by god, I just don't know if I can take any further crazy, kooky development, writers!
Also, the last new episode was entirely a Montage Episode! For reals!
Community, on the other hand? Fabulous cast. Fabulous dialogue. Best use of hilarious ironic music I have ever encountered. I feel like the drama is less emphasized than in The Office. And the characters came to the table with all their quirks and ridiculousness laid out. Nothing completely unfeasible has been developed. Yet.
So to conclude, Long Live The Office, Seasons 1-3....
And watch Community! It's awesome!
I just talked a lot about teevee.
Also, if you've ever wanted to ask me something but never had the nerve to do so or would prefer to remain anonymous, now's your chance! Come on, you know you want to do it, two people who read my blog!
Saabs have played a fairly integral part in my family's history for the past 40 years as far as cars go (though I guess somewhat unhinged Volkswagens have also played a faily integral part...). I don't think there's a period in time in which my parents have not owned a Saab. Those cars have driven my mother and father through most of Europe...have followed them back over to the U.S. (if I recall right, when my parents moved back from Germany they actually brought their Saab with them)...have stranded us in hilarious places due to lack of constant and nation-wide foreign car servicing...
This album isn't a complete departure from stuff Shiina Ringo has done before. But this is definitely the most Sinatra-y I've ever heard her. That said, I enjoy the hell out of this song (BUT WOULD REALLY LIKE IT OUT OF MY HEAD, PLZ).
Remember that one time I said I'd have a layout and all WordPress transfers completed in a week's time? Yeah, those were a bunch of LIES. As it turns out, I'm mastering WordPress code alright but just need a solid few more years experience with layouts and CSS and such. God. Let's not talk about it anymore.
Just a few things of note regarding not being on Facebook: First of all, I guess I could just mention why I left. And that would be...I don't know! Isn't there enough excess clutter in my life and in my BRAIN as it is?! It's fun to keep up with friends, but it's not fun to be bombarded constantly with updates from a lot of people, many of whom I a) haven't actively kept up with in years or b) was never really friends with in the first place. I needed a break from the excessiveness. Maybe one day I'll find the balance of wasting time but...now is not the best of times to be tempted by time-wasting.
And in a similar vein: My. God. That's where most of my productivity went. I never realized how easily I would jump to Facebook when I was avoiding doing something like work or practicing. And it's not that I'd sit around all day on Facebook watching people update their statuses. I would just check it often enough throughout the day that those wasted minutes really started to add up. Amazing.
I don't know. Nothing new. It's kind of the same three ponderings again and again and again.
1) How am I actually busy?
2) Elgar. Elllllgaaaaar I loooooff you.
3) Shiba Inu puppiiiies!
I would like to state once again, for the record, that I'm really not much of a dog person. Honestly? Dogs are awesome. They are! But I still think I prefer the less extroverted and slightly more limber cat to a dog, if we're talking about the ownage of furry four-legged pets that are bigger than a Guinea Pig. However. I love watching dogs and having occasional fun run-ins with them (and by "fun" I mean "NOT BEING ATTACKED BY STANDARD POODLES IN THE WOODS"). It's one of the reasons that I go on random meandering walks when the weather permits. To be a DOG VOYEUR.
And? The Shiba Inu puppy cam presents the perfect, laziest opportunity for dog voyeurism. Win-Win!
.......But what if I wanted to marry Neil Gaiman....?
I guess I can console myself in the fact that I'm dating someone who kind of resembles Neil Gaiman (sorry, Tim, but you JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACTS)!
Ah, yes. I made it through the first week of the last semester.
I don't know. I'm just now realizing how devoid of activity (minus the recital) the previous two semester have been, and how weird it is to have...STUFF to do.
Stuff is weird.
I'm taking some most excellent classes, though. Eurhythmics. Win an Orchestral Audition. Orchestral Rep. ....Some history course. All courses I'm taking (except for Some history course) seem to be great practical music application courses.
I don't know. I realize that my plans in life do not (actively) include attempting to Win an Orchestral Audition anytime soon. But I think a lot of the core to this class is how to get through the anxiety and the details before performances/big events and the crazy brain-noise which are ALL THINGS I EXPERIENCE ALL THE TIME. During our first class session we went around the room explaining why we're taking the class and what problems we have with auditions. What I said was this: "I feel that as my abilities to play the cello continue to improve substantially, my self-awareness and the general clutter in my brain have increased to the point where I hardly function, not only in audition/performance situations but in LIFE." And one of the teachers pointed at me and said "our required reading material is going to CHANGE YOUR LIFE." So, Eckhart Tolle is going to fix me, apparently. HALLELUJAH. Plus, the course is being taught by one of my favorite people, the same person teaching the Orchestral Rep class.
Also, I am playing Elgar. Hot damn, am I ever playing Elgar.
