i've been organizing stuff. and i came across a box of all my random rent stuff. like... i was gonna make a scrap book, then i got lazy. so all i have are photo albums, and a big box of double pictures, and TONS of playbils, and notes from actors, and autographs and everything. well, i'm looking through it... and i realize how lucky i've been. things and people that inspire me have always been so accessible. i mean like... stuart, and curtis, and rent, and all the other rent actors that i think are just incredible... i've never been denied a chance to see them, or talk to them. iv'e seen rent 30 some times, and it's meant something new to me each time. i've seen stuart like... 13 times... *thinks* no, fifteen... and he's always been nothing but nice and open to me. and after like... four shows... he got to know my parents, he randomly e-mails me to tell me that the world can't live without my radiance... he's introduced me to BEAUTIFUL wonderful people (hi kismet!). so many people have musicians and such who they respect and admire, and they never get the chance to even see them, let alone talk with them on a regular basis, or plan secret surprise attacks against them, involving certain songs... (no stuart, we aren't planning a surprise attack... pay no attention to any of that... ^_~). *sigh* i've never really realized how wonderful my life has been when it comes to that aspect. when i told curtis i wanted to be an actress, he said "do it!" it's incredible to have the actor you respect most tell you that you can do it, and ... just... wow. life is good. if i ever get all bitchy and depressed (read... the next time i get all bitchy and depressed...) remind me of this. i have no right to bitch and moan about a lot of stuff. i've been very blessed. i have wonderful friends, i've had a great life thus far... and i'm the only one who can control my life... so, i *am* taking control and... it's good. and i'm happy. and ihave to get up in 6 hours. but it's ok. because i'm happy.