fine blogger, don't publish, just see if i care.
i'm home from work. oy. good day though. i feel pretty good. i kinda wanna go to studio 13 for the benefit dealie, because i told patrick i would..... but i can't get ahold of derek, and i don't wanna go alone. *sniffle*
i had SO much to blog about this morning. and now i'm drawing a blank. and hey, kyle, you ARE too one of my pals. i just haven't put your new journal there yet! settle down boy! sheesh!
i dont' have my nails on anymore, i took them off on the way home. so i can type. but i dont' feel like it. i feel really weird right now. uneasy.... like, something bad is going to happen, something bad happened..... it's really a scary feeling, but i'm trying to be rational and not dwell on it. but then again, it's unusual that i feel this scared for no real reason. i hope everyone's ok. an everything's ok. ok. i'm gonna go, and either sleep, or go to derek's (i'm genuinly worried something bad has happened to someone. . . it's like when i had that dream that matt doran was in a car wreck.... only i was at pv, and i had this dream, and it scared me so much that i called him at like five am. he was ok.... but i remembered the exact outfit he was wearing in my dream, and i was all scared EVERY time he wore that. dude.... i had a weird dream about derek this morning too.... hmm.) speaking of dreams.... i always have dreams that derek's a jerk to me, then i'm all grouchy and mad at him when i wake up .... and am like "grrr i hate you" (he's always still asleep, because i wake up at like, 3am, thinking he was just talking to me and being mean....) then i realize that it's 3am, and we weren't just fighting... we were sleeping. and i calm down and go back to sleep. i dont' think i had a dreamfight with him this morning.... but it was a freaky dream. which is maybe why i'm all freaked out now? i don't know. but i'm definitely feeling weird/scared/worried/paranoid. ok. i'm gonna go for real this time. now just watch, all my paranoia will be true, and this will be like the last you ever hear from me. wouldn't that be scary? whoa.
i'm home from work. oy. good day though. i feel pretty good. i kinda wanna go to studio 13 for the benefit dealie, because i told patrick i would..... but i can't get ahold of derek, and i don't wanna go alone. *sniffle*
i had SO much to blog about this morning. and now i'm drawing a blank. and hey, kyle, you ARE too one of my pals. i just haven't put your new journal there yet! settle down boy! sheesh!
i dont' have my nails on anymore, i took them off on the way home. so i can type. but i dont' feel like it. i feel really weird right now. uneasy.... like, something bad is going to happen, something bad happened..... it's really a scary feeling, but i'm trying to be rational and not dwell on it. but then again, it's unusual that i feel this scared for no real reason. i hope everyone's ok. an everything's ok. ok. i'm gonna go, and either sleep, or go to derek's (i'm genuinly worried something bad has happened to someone. . . it's like when i had that dream that matt doran was in a car wreck.... only i was at pv, and i had this dream, and it scared me so much that i called him at like five am. he was ok.... but i remembered the exact outfit he was wearing in my dream, and i was all scared EVERY time he wore that. dude.... i had a weird dream about derek this morning too.... hmm.) speaking of dreams.... i always have dreams that derek's a jerk to me, then i'm all grouchy and mad at him when i wake up .... and am like "grrr i hate you" (he's always still asleep, because i wake up at like, 3am, thinking he was just talking to me and being mean....) then i realize that it's 3am, and we weren't just fighting... we were sleeping. and i calm down and go back to sleep. i dont' think i had a dreamfight with him this morning.... but it was a freaky dream. which is maybe why i'm all freaked out now? i don't know. but i'm definitely feeling weird/scared/worried/paranoid. ok. i'm gonna go for real this time. now just watch, all my paranoia will be true, and this will be like the last you ever hear from me. wouldn't that be scary? whoa.
posted by megan at 10:36 PM
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