bah.

i was in such a cheery mood, despite the fact that like.... all day today things have been happening that are kind of daunting and not really very cheery... but i think they all caught up and now i'm just like... *sigh* boo. graham called and woke me up from my nap at like... 11 or so, and i didn't really realize how i'm so trained to my cell phone ring, even from a few months ago... (graham's calls ring a different ring than everything else, and i never changed it... so whenever i hear his ring, or like, someone else's phone has it... i am automatically like "YAY it's graham!" and i totally did that this morning, like jumped to answer the phone, then i was sad because it's not really like that anymore. ok, enough being sad about that...) annnnyway, i talked to graham until his phone went to extended network (he was on the road for work) then i went and had lunch with my dad, and hung out for awhile... then i decided to come home and do laundry, only apparently my mom has the day off, and is in a rotten mood... (my parents are going to ames to see dave matthews tomorrow (i think this should negate any bad mood, right off the bat), and allison's gonna be at home... and mom wanted her to stay with my mom's friend bonnie... allie didn't want to, i offered to stay at home and watch her... and my mom FLIPPED out... like... apparently by offering to help (they'd asked me to help on saturday, so i was just trying to do what they wanted...) i'm undermining my mom's authority? aaaaaaaaagh.) so, anyway, my mom's been like... angry since i got here. just trying to pick out things to scold me for... and everything she says is all accusing... "why is there a wet swim suit with your laundry?! did you go swimming?!" "uh, yes... i'm sorry? i was going to wash it?" ... "why are your sheets in this basket?! are you going to wash your SHEETS today!?" "uh... yes? i got jelly on them yesterday..." "WHY?!" "uhm... i was eating dinner before i went to bed? i'm sorry!" i don't know how to respond to questions that have such obvious answers without sounding bitchy, like "duh" ... *Sigh*


i WAS listening to beck, and my mom came downstairs and told me how obnoxious it was, and made me turn it off... then went back to her room... where she can't even hear it. UGHHHH. this reminds me why i am willing to have such a shitty financial existance, even though i could be living at home, and actually having enough money to live like a normal person... i would have be living with my mom... who is alright about 55% of the time... but reeeeeeeeeeeally seems to dislike me. bah.


aw, i'm listening to "don't tell me you do" from.... whatever rockapella cd that's on.... and it's making me really sad again. (see, i went for sad to angry, and now i'm back to sad...) and now... my mom wants to call her friend bonnie (Who allie's not staying with, remember?) and doesn't want to use my cell phone... because it apparently embodies everything wrong with me... *shrug* and so, i have to sign off, because i'm already such a nuisance. i'm so glad that coming home is helping my state of mind so much. it would have been really awful to come home wanting a little solace... and get yelled at the whole time, oh wait.


ugh, i really actually wanted to write about what's been going on (granted, it still would have been a minorly angsty post, because life kinda does really suck... but i'm more or less ok with it... so it would have been a nice post anyways) but now, i've gone and written a grouchy post. and have no desire to get out of my grouchy mood. i don't wanna go to my apartment and clean, because i need to have laundry and some stuff finished before i redo my closet, so i know how it's all gonna fit... but, the laundry nazi is going crazy here... and if i go to the laundromat, i'll have to spend my gas money for the week on laundry. this is really an issue that should never have to be discussed. "my mother is making me feel like i'm about as wanted as a cockroach, and now i don't know what to do about it." uh oh, beck's on again, and we all know what a horrible song "loser" is. (p.s. allison is on a huge punk kick, and listening to super explicit music at top volume all the time... and that's alright. but BECK. hooooly cow. that guy's SATAN.)


alright, i'm gonna try to get some stuff done... despite the conditions... and, maybe i'll come back and write a nice post later. i'm gonna try to fix my template quick though.