alright blogger.

i TRIED to just edit my last post. but it didn't work. so now, i'm gonna post it. and just watch, my edit will show up later and i'll look like a dork.


i'm being drama queened to death by a really obnoxious person i really don't like. so i'm gonna be brief.


THANK YOU ROB!!! i muchly appreciated the care package, it was PERFECT thank you thank you thank you thank you!

rantings.

firstly, yaaaaay rob, i heart you times ten! your care package was the best! it made me super duper happy! and i loved the fruit mix! and the thai noodles! it was a happy happy day. i made thai noodles and watched return to oz, and it was a wonderful few hours, all thanks to you.


on another note, stupid blogger isn't working. bastards!!


i'm in a considerably better mood than last time, though nothing has improved at all... in fact it's gotten worse, because now my phone is entirely off. boooo. which reminds me, after i type this i have to call graham, because i talked to him for a second this morning, and he was like "WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED!!!?" because the last time i talked to him, i was like "i hate everything! i'm so saaad!" and i was all crying and stuff. and then i just go an disappear for a week on him... he's like "i THOUGHT you DIED! why didn't you CALL ME!?" i felt bad. i didn't think he'd notice, actually.


aaaaanyway. i'm coming off of a crazy weekend (yes, i know it's wednesday) and i think that may be the only reason i don't want to just die right now (i'll save that for tomorrow) let's see. thursday night... laura's 21st birthday... not one, not two, not twenty one... but FORTY TWO PITCHERS at the field house. ah, the joys of being a twin. nic and zac should do that on their birthday. so, that was thursday. friday, laura's birthday... part two, the eighties kegger. i was WASTED. i recall.... that i was dressed SUPER eighties... and so was jon, and everyone. and it was hott. then... we played some drinking games. and these two kids let me win, but i still managed to get very intoxicated. i recall VERY little of the actual party. aside from jon attempting to run my life, and me getting all grouchy... and then i was all grouchy for a while... then i went home. yay home! oh, i fell in a mud puddle on the way home and got mud up to my knee. that was not neat. then.... SATURDAY... we did something... oh. i was sad on saturday because boji got hurt and we didn't know if he was gonna be alright or not. (We think he's gonna be kinda ok...) so, i got wasted at jon's, went to studio for a while, said hi to matt, who i think was mad? because i've been really upset lately? i'm not sure. then, i was gonnna walk over to brothers to say hey to benny, but instead i went back to jon's and broke in to his apartment and fell asleep on the couch watching friends. i was really sad all of saturday, so much so that i didn't go to my friends' halloween party. and now they're mad at me too. everyone hates me. booo. now i'm broke AND i have no friends. this sucks. ANYway.... sunday was.... this guy's birthday party. so we went to studio for it. i was STILL in a bad mood... and EVERYONE AND THEIR DAMN MOTHER kept trying to drag me onto the dance floor. and i was like... "i kinda just wanna be at home crying right now... but i'm putting in a effort to be out and hang out with you guys... like you want.... and you gotta cut me some slack." i HATE being dragged to dance.... i HATE being danced up on... (like, someone sneaking up behind you and grinding on you... uuuuuuugh.) i don't like grinding (it's not dancing, it's obnoxious.) and EVERYONE was trying to get me to come and grind and shit. i was not amused. and there was this wasted ass girl who kept showing her tits. then dena got sick of her jumping on stage and ripped her shirt off. so... we had shirtless girl all dancing on stage. it was.... interesting? yes.


took monday night off, went to doug's 21st last night, where he proceeded to profess his love for me... and i was like "*pats head* happy birthday." then we all went to this afties... and i met some guy from sioux city who knows graham, AND some guy who works at the hospital with benny, and made me all grouchy. but, we had a nice chat before i got grouchy.


DAMN AOL!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. i HATE when it does that! disconnecting me.... and then not telling me until it's trying to reconnect, and it's going all crazy. then it doesn't actually reconnect. and it's like "goodbye. goodbye. goodbye." and i'm like "I GET IT, YOU SUCK, STOP IT!" aaaaah. i HATE aol. die die die.


sorry, i was just all mad, i finally got blogger to open and aol goes and dies on me. bitches.


i need to find vaccuum cleaner bags, because i need to vaccuum my apartment, and we are out of vaccuum cleaner bags. i think aj should buy them, because he owes me approximatly three million dollars for all of my milk that he drinks. and never replaces. grrr. i wish i had a mini fridge so i could hoard my milk and orange juice. last time, i got ONE glass of milk out of the gallon, and NO orange juice. i was furious. i still am, come to think of it.


well, aol is up and running again, so i'm gonna post this, and maybe go look for vaccuum cleaner bags. and, then sign off, because i'm being drama queened to death by someone. and it's a little obnoxious.

*Sigh*

i am so frusterated with life right now.


it is impossible to work and go to school at the same time. especially if you are trying to work to live as well as go to school. i don't care enough about my homework, because i'm more concerned about getting evicted or whatever... i haven't bought groceries in like... a month and a half... if my parents didn't live in town, i don't think i'd eat... *sigh*


how do i do this? i'm gonna have to get ANOTHER job... meaning... i have to FIND another job... that will work with my schedule... which is gonna be next to impossible....


*sigh*


also, i think my landlord is trying to get ahold of me... (i SENT the damn check already, good god.) but, i don't know, because my phone is all interrupted because i need to pay the bill, and i literally don't know when/how i'm going to do that. i can GET calls... occasionally... but i can't MAKE calls at all. and i need to pay them before they COMPLETELY disconnect everything.


all day today i have just wanted to cry. and the fact that i am feeling so sad is making me feel even more sad, because i just don't know what to do... i don't think i've ever worked so hard to make things work... and had them not work at all. it drives me to the point of frusteration where i just want to sit by myself and cry. i'm even DREAMING about it every night. either that everyone comes and yells at me and everyone hates me because i can't pay them... or that somehow everything manages to get paid, and i'm all happy. either way i wake up all upset, because i'm thinking about how everyone IS going to come kill me if this stupid shit keeps up. *sigh* i'm gonna go eat something in hopes that it will take my mind off how much i want to cry.

oh my god the updates!

it's ANOTHER update. what are the ODDS?


i'm at home hanging out with matt and jenna and soon cal.


i'm babysitting my sister tonight and tomorrow. how exciting.


there's a fly that keeps dive bombing me and it's REALLY distracting. the dog also keeps trying to sneak onto the carpet so he can hang out with us. i hate this fly. it's SO ANNOYING. eeeeeeeeeer.


i really don't have anything to say, but i thought i'd be cool and update. the end.

super genius!

i fixed my post that didn't go through earlier today!!!!


yaaay. it's really angsty though. because my mom haaates me. boo.


i don't like matt's keyboard... it's one of those weird keyboards where the left and right hand letters are all separated. it's driving me nuts. matt's behind me looking for his glasses, aka destroying his closet. he downloaded all of cheap and evil girl for me. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bree sharp. i am oh so happy.


i have hella busy day tomorrow. yuuuuuuuuuuuck.


i need to add matt's livejournal to my links... but, uh, seeing how renata BROKE MY TEMPLATE i can't. speaking of, i'm gonna go fix that. or try.

bah.

i was in such a cheery mood, despite the fact that like.... all day today things have been happening that are kind of daunting and not really very cheery... but i think they all caught up and now i'm just like... *sigh* boo. graham called and woke me up from my nap at like... 11 or so, and i didn't really realize how i'm so trained to my cell phone ring, even from a few months ago... (graham's calls ring a different ring than everything else, and i never changed it... so whenever i hear his ring, or like, someone else's phone has it... i am automatically like "YAY it's graham!" and i totally did that this morning, like jumped to answer the phone, then i was sad because it's not really like that anymore. ok, enough being sad about that...) annnnyway, i talked to graham until his phone went to extended network (he was on the road for work) then i went and had lunch with my dad, and hung out for awhile... then i decided to come home and do laundry, only apparently my mom has the day off, and is in a rotten mood... (my parents are going to ames to see dave matthews tomorrow (i think this should negate any bad mood, right off the bat), and allison's gonna be at home... and mom wanted her to stay with my mom's friend bonnie... allie didn't want to, i offered to stay at home and watch her... and my mom FLIPPED out... like... apparently by offering to help (they'd asked me to help on saturday, so i was just trying to do what they wanted...) i'm undermining my mom's authority? aaaaaaaaagh.) so, anyway, my mom's been like... angry since i got here. just trying to pick out things to scold me for... and everything she says is all accusing... "why is there a wet swim suit with your laundry?! did you go swimming?!" "uh, yes... i'm sorry? i was going to wash it?" ... "why are your sheets in this basket?! are you going to wash your SHEETS today!?" "uh... yes? i got jelly on them yesterday..." "WHY?!" "uhm... i was eating dinner before i went to bed? i'm sorry!" i don't know how to respond to questions that have such obvious answers without sounding bitchy, like "duh" ... *Sigh*


i WAS listening to beck, and my mom came downstairs and told me how obnoxious it was, and made me turn it off... then went back to her room... where she can't even hear it. UGHHHH. this reminds me why i am willing to have such a shitty financial existance, even though i could be living at home, and actually having enough money to live like a normal person... i would have be living with my mom... who is alright about 55% of the time... but reeeeeeeeeeeally seems to dislike me. bah.


aw, i'm listening to "don't tell me you do" from.... whatever rockapella cd that's on.... and it's making me really sad again. (see, i went for sad to angry, and now i'm back to sad...) and now... my mom wants to call her friend bonnie (Who allie's not staying with, remember?) and doesn't want to use my cell phone... because it apparently embodies everything wrong with me... *shrug* and so, i have to sign off, because i'm already such a nuisance. i'm so glad that coming home is helping my state of mind so much. it would have been really awful to come home wanting a little solace... and get yelled at the whole time, oh wait.


ugh, i really actually wanted to write about what's been going on (granted, it still would have been a minorly angsty post, because life kinda does really suck... but i'm more or less ok with it... so it would have been a nice post anyways) but now, i've gone and written a grouchy post. and have no desire to get out of my grouchy mood. i don't wanna go to my apartment and clean, because i need to have laundry and some stuff finished before i redo my closet, so i know how it's all gonna fit... but, the laundry nazi is going crazy here... and if i go to the laundromat, i'll have to spend my gas money for the week on laundry. this is really an issue that should never have to be discussed. "my mother is making me feel like i'm about as wanted as a cockroach, and now i don't know what to do about it." uh oh, beck's on again, and we all know what a horrible song "loser" is. (p.s. allison is on a huge punk kick, and listening to super explicit music at top volume all the time... and that's alright. but BECK. hooooly cow. that guy's SATAN.)


alright, i'm gonna try to get some stuff done... despite the conditions... and, maybe i'll come back and write a nice post later. i'm gonna try to fix my template quick though.