sad face.
matt left for camp shelby today. i have officially lost 33% of my friends. and essentially my best friend in iowa city. i'm very forlorn. i cried at the "support our troops" commercial that was on a minute ago. i was on the news tonight though. at the goodbye ceremony they interviewed Rich and his mom, and then they were talking to me and matt and matt's parents, and the camera guy kept hovering. so there was a shot of me and rich and matt, then a shot of me and matt's parents on channel 2 news.
this seriously reminds me of when i was in like... third grade. i had all these friends, then i got kind of shy and quiet, and i pretty much "lost" all my friends, except two, who were my BEST friends. then they both moved away. i spent an entire year of elementary school eating lunch with our school counselor, or the secretary. because no one would sit with me in the cafeteria. in the past year i've really withdrawn from the party scene, and thus lost most of the friends i had. with the exception of matt and adam and cal (now, if you're not matt, adam or cal, don't be upset. they've just become the only people i've been really close to here). then, cal went to germany, and i was just friends with adam and matt. now cal's back, but we still aren't quite as close as we used to be... and now matt's gone. and, we all know, adam's kind of a flake. (i loooove him to death... and i am admittedly a flake as well... but still). the way i feel right now really reminds me of third grade, only i don't have a school counselor to notice that i sit by myself and cry at lunchtime and take pity on me.
i guess i've been so busy the past month making sure that everything would be in order when matt left (apartment stuff, computer stuff, bills.. tons of crap), and taking care of all the craziness *i* have going on right now, that i never really stopped to think about what it'd be like once he left. i got home from the send off tonight, and i was really depressed, and i just wanted to veg out and watch friends and eat... and i picked up my phone and automatically went to matt's number. i think that's when it really hit me. we don't get to hang out anymore.
i'm sorry if this is an annoying post... but i was lonely here before... and it just seems like it's gotten ten times worse.
this seriously reminds me of when i was in like... third grade. i had all these friends, then i got kind of shy and quiet, and i pretty much "lost" all my friends, except two, who were my BEST friends. then they both moved away. i spent an entire year of elementary school eating lunch with our school counselor, or the secretary. because no one would sit with me in the cafeteria. in the past year i've really withdrawn from the party scene, and thus lost most of the friends i had. with the exception of matt and adam and cal (now, if you're not matt, adam or cal, don't be upset. they've just become the only people i've been really close to here). then, cal went to germany, and i was just friends with adam and matt. now cal's back, but we still aren't quite as close as we used to be... and now matt's gone. and, we all know, adam's kind of a flake. (i loooove him to death... and i am admittedly a flake as well... but still). the way i feel right now really reminds me of third grade, only i don't have a school counselor to notice that i sit by myself and cry at lunchtime and take pity on me.
i guess i've been so busy the past month making sure that everything would be in order when matt left (apartment stuff, computer stuff, bills.. tons of crap), and taking care of all the craziness *i* have going on right now, that i never really stopped to think about what it'd be like once he left. i got home from the send off tonight, and i was really depressed, and i just wanted to veg out and watch friends and eat... and i picked up my phone and automatically went to matt's number. i think that's when it really hit me. we don't get to hang out anymore.
i'm sorry if this is an annoying post... but i was lonely here before... and it just seems like it's gotten ten times worse.
posted by megan at 12:53 AM
1 Comments:
Megan, I totally know how that feels. My friends I spent a lot of time with left right before my last year at iowa and i spent the entire last year of my college experience lonely and wishing i had made more concrete friends like Rory and Kelsey. It sucked. Big time. Thankfully I did meet Jeremy, otherwise it would have been worse. So I know how that feels. I was planning on coming up for the stu show on the 14th, but I have to house manager at comedy sportz (which I just auditioned for and got into!). So yeah, won't be there...again...grrr...and I suppose his new album will be out too....grrr....anyway, if you need to talk, hit me up on IM AIM: Solarcirclegirl.
*hugs*
Toni
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