Bush Thwarted By Magic 8 Ball

WASHINGTON, D.C.-White House press secretary Scott McClellan revealed today that President Bush felt 'betrayed' by a Magic 8 Ball, a popular toy used by millions to predict the future and aid in decision-making. "The President was given the 8 Ball as a gift, and while he was initially confused by how it worked, he was very enthusiastic about it. He had hoped to incorporated its use into his foreign policy planning."

In an exclusive interview with President Bush, he had this to say about the 8 Ball: "It worked so good at first! I asked it if my name was George Walker Bush, just to test it, and it said 'Yes, Definitely'! So then I asked it if America was Number One, and it said 'Without a Doubt'. That's when I knew I was dealing with something really special. At first I thought I might be, you know, playing with Satan's toys, but Laura said it was okay. So then I started in on the big questions, and I asked it what I should do to make super-sure I get reelected. And it said 'Concentrate and Ask Again'. So I was concentrating really really hard, and then I got a headache and took a nap. But then I concentrated some more, and asked again, and it said 'Reply Hazy, Ask Again'. Doesn't it understand that I'm the President of the most powerful country in the world and I don't have time for this?"

A Hasbro spokesperson expressed regret for the President's trouble, but explained that the Magic 8 Ball was more suited to yes or no questions. When the spokesperson suggested that an Ouija board might be better for the President's needs, a wiretap was placed on his phone. While technically legal under the Patriot Act, many questioned the necessity of the action. Bush responded by saying, "Hey, we all know what kind of people use Oujia boards. Besides, the 8 Ball said it was okay."

The President's stance on tarot cards is currently unknown.

renata at frowl org

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