Overly Vague Prescription Medicine Ads Force Americans to Buy Shit They Don't Really Need

Today in America, nearly 27 million people are without health insurance, leaving many unable to purchase the medication they need. Others are forced to make do with imitation drugs smuggled across the border from Mexico-- drugs such as "Viagringo" and "Allegra con Limón."

However, a growing number are facing a very different problem: lured by flashy and perplexing advertising, they receive useless, and sometimes even dangerous, prescription drugs.

Drug companies, targeting the aging baby boom generation, have increased their advertising budgets enormously, spending an average of 546 trillion dollars per medication. These ads frequently exploit a legal loophole that allows them not to mention potential side effects of a medicine, if they also leave out the drug's intended purpose, include at least one made-up word in each ad, and, in television spots, use a song that used to be cool as background music.

Local resident Charles Gebhardt, for example, is currently taking Nexium, Prozac, Accutane, Depo-Provera, Flonase, and "something green." Regarding his large regiment of medication, he said "What? No, I'm fine. Side effects are comparable to placebo. Besides, I asked my doctor if they were right for me, and she said 'sure'. Doctors wouldn't lie, right?"

Dr. Carrie Jones nodded sympathetically, then said, "Of course we wouldn't lie. Flonase is the best prescription available for, um, cancer? Allergies? Uh, I think the ads have flowers in them? I'm sure Charles will be fine combining it with his blood pressure medicine." When it was pointed out to her that Gebhardt isn't actually taking any blood pressure medicine, Jones paled and said, "Really? All that shit and none of it is for blood pressure? Well, I'll be damned."

Gebhardt next plans to ask his doctor if Cialis is right for him.

renata at frowl org

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