Title: Release…
Author: Suppis Tenshi (suppis_tenshi@yahoo.com)
Fandom: Furuba (Fruits Basket)
Pairing: Hatori Sohma X Kana Sohma
Rating: PG
Notes: Short ficlet from Hatori’s P.O.V.

!Spoilers! if you do not know the story between Hatori and Kana.

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He couldn’t sleep.

Breathing deeply of the cool air circulating in his bedroom, Hatori stared up at the ceiling creating pictures from the crumbly plaster that made various patterns with its erratic non shapes and blobs. A hand lifted up and traced them slowly in the air, while lightning flashed outside his open window.

‘I should really close that…’ drifted through his mind but he paid no attention to it, choosing instead to let his drifting eyes focus on a picture sitting on his nearby bed stand. His hand flopped next to the small frame and grabbed it with a tender clasp.

‘Kana…’

Outside, the rain started falling in slow patterns, gradually picking up speed until it was a full out storm. He moved from underneath the covers, frame still clutched in his hand and walked to the open window, not caring when the rain and wind pelted him with unrelenting force, thoroughly drenching him in a short amount of time. It was natural, his love for water, and he felt oddly at peace, standing there soaked to his skin. He held the frame up to his face and smiled bitterly at the memories.

“I’m so sorry…”

He sighed deeply and touched his fingers to his left eye softly. It always hurt on rainy days like today; comparable to a personal internal weather tracking device. Sitting on the window frame, he looked out into the darkened sky, filled with threatening clouds that promised rain for a long while. ‘This storm will probably last the night,’ his senses told him quietly and he knew he was going to be tired tomorrow. He never slept during rainy nights due to the dull throb of his eye. He could probably have found some medicine in his cabinets to make the pain go away but it would be like denying what had passed in the past.

And his eye would never let him forget.

And neither would his heart.

”Here's a question, when snow melts what does it become?”

“Water of course…”

” Bzzt Bzzt! Wrong, the answer is spring! I think spring is my favorite season…”

She had continued on from there, bright, cheerful, and full of vitality and a life he found himself envious of. He’d watch as she embraced each day with a new happiness and love, always curious and ever optimistic. She had then turned her sweet eyes on him, and he had no chance. He was lost.

He yearned to share something with her, something close and intimate and full of love, yet he shied away, knowing, always knowing what would happen if he took a chance. But when she had turned to him, he ignored the warnings of his mind, allowing once for the rule of heart over head.

Life had been bliss for a short while, a very short while. It had not been long before the two knew they were in for life and ready to make it official. That day had shone beautiful with new joy and anticipation on her part, yet it had been too perfect. There was always a flaw, and when he walked into that small dark room where Akito awaited them embraced by shadows and gloom, he knew he had found it.

The scene that had followed was ever etched into his mind and he would never forget it. Physical scars not withstanding, the emotional ones were even worse. He would be witness to the mental breakdown of the one he loved above all else in the world, and he would have never forced this torture upon his own worst enemy.

He was a doctor but there was no medicine for heartbreak, for self-inflicted guilt; no pill contained a cure for sadness and the inability to touch the one you loved. Nothing. He was useless. And she only became worse and worse….

And then he knew what he had to do. He would choose it for her…the ultimate sacrifice second only to dying for the one you loved, and that was forgetting. Saying goodbye, “Sayonara” and never looking back.

He would press his hand over her eyes one final time, feeling her tears fall like flower petals upon his palm and he hurt deep inside. She reached out her hand and he would grasp it tight while she had whispered then her own final words of goodbye, “I’m so sorry…I couldn’t save you...I failed you...please forgive me…Hatori…” and he had known that would be the last time his name would fall from lips more gentle than water uttered by a voice like silk.

The power surged through his veins and when she fell back onto the floor, he had felt his heart die then and there, tears falling easily now with the knowledge that his life could never belong to anyone but Akito…the full, undeniable truth. The next few days would be a blur of color and light mixed with shadows and unknown hues before he could properly view the world still moving around him as if nothing had happened.

He would adopt this way of life, grabbing on to it with the desperation of a mad man, finding solace in ignorance and denial, until that first rainstorm had come with torrential rain and wind.

And with that first throb of his eye came the pulse of hidden pain he could no longer repudiate. It was over, nothing could return to the way it was before. She was happy and that was all that mattered to him anymore. He had to move on with his life, start a new chapter, and he did.

He shifted on the windowsill.

The recent news of her impending marriage had stung just enough to prove he still cared, but it was the final reprieve on his heart that she was happy once more.

And now it was his turn.

He picked the small frame holding her picture inside and undid the clasp on the back keeping the glass in place with the wood. He pulled her picture out into his palm and placed the now empty frame aside.

Placing one final kiss upon the picture’s content, he closed his eyes and threw it out the window, opening them slowly to watch it make short dashes in the air as the wind caught at it and soon flung it into the distance where he could no longer see it.

Standing once more, he turned and shut the window, the click of the lock resounding in the now silent room like a shot from a gun. Touching the window with his palm in a semblance of farewell, he turned and walked towards his bed and essentially his new life.

“Sayonara…Kana…”

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