The name “The Worst Blog” turned out to be pretty accurate because I have been absolutely terrible at posting here. There have been things I wanted to post about–my first solo backpacking trip, my move, seeing Hamilton–and I’ve mentally drafted posts about those things, and never gotten around to opening up WordPress and writing about them. Partly because of doing all those things, I’ve been lacking in mental energy.
Today, now, I’m tired, but also restless. Like so many of us, I’m feeling scared and disappointed and furious about the outcome of the US Election. Like slightly fewer of us, I took my troubled heart to Salem, Massachusetts, aka Witch City. (Listen: I don’t have time to talk about the heartbreaking irony of a town that killed 20 people for alleged witchcraft turning it into a tourist destination.) A few friends and I had been planning this trip since before the election, and we decided it would be a good way to distract ourselves for awhile. We decided we might get our tarot cards read. I’ve had my tarot read once before (it’s one of the only things I’ve actually posted about on this blog) and I enjoyed the experience. (Side note: it is weird to look back at my post about that experience now! So much of it was about big change, and I’ve had that for sure. I also wrote this: Haha I’m totally fine and not at all worried about the 9 of Spades. *builds blanket fort for the rest of 2016, just for fun and totally not out of irrational fear* I guess I basically had the right idea!)
Also, I never posted an update on this blog after my WTF Are You Doing Post, so ICYMI: I successfully moved to the Boston area and got a great job! But at the time of my last tarot card reading I was preparing to move but hadn’t told too many people yet. But the reading was really reflective of that mindset. Obviously, I was in a very different mindset when I got my reading this week.
Anyway, again, I’m not saying I necessarily believe anything mystical is happening with the cards, but it’s a fun, self-reflective exercise. Kind of like a combination of a BuzzFeed quiz and a non-licensed therapist.
Salem has no shortage of tarot card readers and any other manner of psychics, witches, and mystics. Like good millennials, we looked up Psychics and Astrologers on Yelp, but since pretty much every place had at least 4 stars and we didn’t really know how to judge the reviews, I decided we should just visit a few places and judge by ~vibe~. (And also cost: the places with the most famous readers charge upwards of $100 per sesh, and we were not about that life.) The first place we went to, I rejected because the reader who was in was a man, and I don’t want any men telling me my secrets. The second place I rejected because the person at the desk seemed extremely uninterested in us and also it smelled weird. The third place advertised that Katy Perry had done a love spell there, and also they did a fundraiser for the animal shelter and blessed all the animals with magic, so obviously we went there. (It was Crow Haven Corner, although we did not meet with Lorelei, but rather one of her less-experienced budget witches.)
She asked me if there was anything in particular I wanted to know about, and I said I was feeling generally panicked about the state of the world and wanted advice on how to proceed. First, she had me shuffle one deck and pick one card that would represent my ~theme~ for the year.
I got Grace, which she told me was about accepting things I can’t control. WITCH, PLEASE
I mean it’s maybe good advice for my personal wellbeing but also, obviously, not quite what I wanted to hear; I wanted the card for setting the world on fire. But I suppose accepting the things I really can’t change with grace gives me more mental energy to devote to the things I can change. #SerenityNow
Anyway, after I picked one card out of that deck, she did a Celtic Cross reading with a different deck.
The first card I got was the Moon, which is apparently about reflection and confusion and mystery. A LITTLE TOO ON THE NOSE, CARDS.
I don’t totally remember the order everything else came in; I do remember the Queen of Wands represents motherhood. She asked if I wanted to become a mother, and I said NOPE, and she said I had better be careful about birth control then because I’m very fertile and there’s a spirit near me that wants to come into the world? (It’s probably Duarte though.) Also, maybe I’ll change my mind about motherhood when I’m in a good relationship. SURE. She also said the Queen of Wands means I make good decisions, which I obviously do, which is how I ended up a tarot card reading on a weekday afternoon.
When the Lovers came up, she asked if I’d met anyone recently, or started a new job. (No and yes.) She told me both that I either had recently or would soon meet someone who would be a good ~love connection~ for me, and also that I would have a good partnership at work. (The second one is definitely true!)
The 8 of Pentacles means a period of hard work; she described myself as planting seeds in the ground that would pay off later. I also got the 8 of Wands which is also about working and planning. I also had a lot of Wands which in general is about creativity and determination. Specifically she told me I should do more graphic design work? Which I never told her what my job is but I had just had multiple conversations with co-workers about doing more flyers and Tumblr graphics at the library…so that was weirdly on target.
What else…she said my last relationship ended because the man wasn’t mature enough for me, which I think is true, but also is probably true of like 90% of man-woman relationships, like you could just stand on the street corner and tell that to random women and you’d only be wrong if they don’t date men.
Also at the end of it, she asked me to please write a good review on TripAdvisor because she could tell I was a good writer, which made me laugh so much. But also: I will. I will do that.
Anyway, it was a fun, reflective experience that left me feeling somewhat invigorated about the days to come! The overall combined takeaway, for me, is a combination of accepting the things I can’t change with grace, and working hard to change the things I can. The second part is where I need to put in my work, of course–the tarot card reader didn’t really tell me anything specific on how I can un-fuck up the world, but, you know, that’s on me. Right now I’m reading widely, and listening, and signing up for local community justice lists to make sure I hear about protests and other opportunities to effect change. I’m setting up recurring donations to causes that are important to me. I’m making sure that I’m working to make my library a safe place for all of our community members.
Also I bought this spell candle because it’s worth a try, right?
I hope you are all doing as okay as possible, and doing whatever kind of magical or Muggle self-care you need to do to carry on and keep doing the work!